I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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