i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
