no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
