we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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