lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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