so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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