you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
