I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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