sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
