You're completely useless in the revolution.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
