just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
