so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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