he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Randomize
