yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We named our party play list daddy issues
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
