I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
