Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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