Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
