I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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