How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
