I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
