hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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