If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
