we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
