I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
