this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I want to be your penis for a week.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
