I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
