pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
