Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
