Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
How's work?
Spinning.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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