i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All the doctor said was why
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
