I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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