So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So I just went to clothing optional bar
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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