Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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