Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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