I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
