dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
