Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
