He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i now understand why vodka
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
