I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
