i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
