Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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