No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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