i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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