The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
