And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
