my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
