do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
