Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
