nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
