Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we're making bets on your personal life
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
