Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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