Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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