Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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