If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
