There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
